I feel lost.
Not lost in my place in this world but lost in my direction forward.
I see now that the comfortable life involves not thinking about the meaning of your existence too much cause that is so far a painful and ironically meaningless path.
I love the internet. Amazing things have come out of it. And my career is based off the internet.
What troubles me, is my reptile brains reaction to having unlimited choices. Unlimited content.
Looking at my past 2 hours browsing history is embarrassing. It goes something like this:
I was supposed to go with my car and 4 other friends on a road trip through Europe. As it always goes though, some people quit just before departure for various reasons (no hard feelings).
So in the end it was only me and one friend left. The hardcore crew.
I have a problem.
Most people seem super boring to me.
I get frightened by the thought of something like a stable traditional family life with perfect balance.
It has become increasingly clear to me lately what it really means to "own" a customer. Of course no company really owns it's customers. We merely serve their needs, and they get rid of us the minute we don't.
There is a lot of conspiracy floating around on the dark corners of the internet about some "New world order" that is taking over the planet step by step.
Sometimes prominent politicians mention a "world government" or a "new world order", and everytime bring a lot of wood to the conspiracy fire.
So that stops you from even wondering if this world government thing could be beneficial.
I just saw one of my old aquaintances from high school post about his experience teaching young people about faith - and in the proces talking about:
I don't exactly know what I want. Very few people do. But it seems the few who do reach higher with less effort.
The key seems to be focus and clarity.
But that whole rant is all boring. Ambition can really be boring. So I thought I would try to paint a picture of my dream instead.
And since I am a bad painter it will have to be done with words.
It is easy to build up an online presense. Nowadays everybody is online through some social media. But it still doesnt mean that we get to understand who that person is as an observer.
I see that the people we really seem to follow online are the ones that video blog. Video is insanely more personal than both text and pictures.
I am sitting here trying to twist my brain to hit some inspiration out of it. It's been awhile since I'we been writing.
I realize my life is quite stable and predictable at the moment.
This is my public diary. My passion is to build cool novel things. My dream is to improve ethics in this world.
Go to my "about page" if you want to read a longer story :)
