Two modern ideas seem to control my actions or my drive.
"Live here and now" is everywhere. We are constantly reminded that life is now and that you have to live in the moment. And if you are not enjoying yourself there is something wrong and you gotta change it.
Passion. Hard work. An intense pursuit of creating something big.
It seems to me that some people have a burning desire to create something truly great that impresses others.
I have been looking for something for a long time.
I knew the outlines of what I wanted: Some physical gathering of people that would bring enlightenment and deeper meaning to all the participants.
I feel lost.
Not lost in my place in this world but lost in my direction forward.
I see now that the comfortable life involves not thinking about the meaning of your existence too much cause that is so far a painful and ironically meaningless path.
I love the internet. Amazing things have come out of it. And my career is based off the internet.
What troubles me, is my reptile brains reaction to having unlimited choices. Unlimited content.
Looking at my past 2 hours browsing history is embarrassing. It goes something like this:
I was supposed to go with my car and 4 other friends on a road trip through Europe. As it always goes though, some people quit just before departure for various reasons (no hard feelings).
So in the end it was only me and one friend left. The hardcore crew.
I have a problem.
Most people seem super boring to me.
I get frightened by the thought of something like a stable traditional family life with perfect balance.
It has become increasingly clear to me lately what it really means to "own" a customer. Of course no company really owns it's customers. We merely serve their needs, and they get rid of us the minute we don't.
There is a lot of conspiracy floating around on the dark corners of the internet about some "New world order" that is taking over the planet step by step.
Sometimes prominent politicians mention a "world government" or a "new world order", and everytime bring a lot of wood to the conspiracy fire.
So that stops you from even wondering if this world government thing could be beneficial.
I just saw one of my old aquaintances from high school post about his experience teaching young people about faith - and in the proces talking about:
This is my public diary. My passion is to build cool novel things. My dream is to improve ethics in this world.
Go to my "about page" if you want to read a longer story :)
