The world is even less fair than I thought
If you had problems as a child you might run into a lot of issues as an adult too. It seems the privileged people who had a stable, healthy upbringing and gifted with good looks really have it easier.
I used to think that our happiness was more or less equal because the lucky ones would just have all the unique challenges that comes with being in their shoes.
I no longer believe that.
If your parents gave you little love or took your confidence away from you as a child it can become a life long struggle.
A struggle I shared for many.
I always used to think everyone else was better than me, and that I didn't deserve anything. I guess it's a similar feeling these unlucky souls carry around.
Their life was never fair. They never got anything extra. They always had to fight extra hard for every happy moment.
Some of the people I respect the most are in this category. It hurts me so much that they give so much good will and decency to this world but the world doesn't fucking care to give them anything back. Instead it spoils those who already have with way more than they need.
It makes me so angry!! It's not fair! I want to fight it! But I don't know what to do... If only I knew...
And now I feel guilty big time! I have become one of those privileged idiots.Life has been good to me lately. I have been extremely lucky. I spent my first 20 years thinking I am not intelligent. 7 years ago I realised intelligence is many things and that math skills is not all you need.
From then on I fought hard to achieve success. I "deserve" it.
Now I am starting to see myself surrounded with other successful people. And it just feels great. A party where everyone fits in and makes it even better all.
At the same time it feels horrible. It's an act of elitism. It's disgusting. It's completely empty of compassion and solidarity.
The unspoken truth is that we all find excuses and arguments for why we are such nice people even though we might not be.
You are always the hero of your own story as my good friend says. Us in the elite are such great people, all the other great people tell us all the time...
I call bullshit!
The "solution" is unclear to me, but this world was never fair...